Because of misguided concept of trust, We became fearful of a trusting God. We actually fear that He might send us to a foreign country to be a missionary or call us to marry someone we don't want. Many of us believe that God doesn't take into account who we are or what we prefer. He just commands us to do stuff, and we are required to trust Him and obey. Trusting God was presented to many of us as an order. It was something we were required to do if we wanted to be rewarded with anything good. Whether or not if flowed from anything real and authentic wasn't the issue. Putting trust in God was a measurement of faith. If I worry about life, it was as good as telling Him I didn't love Him.
God was like a controlling, abusive husband with an insecurity complex. He wanted my trust so He would feel powerful. Coming to trust God was never presented to me as something that evolved naturally out of love. It was an obligation that you did out of fear, not love.
Some preacher tell us that God wouldn't bless us until He could first trust us. I quickly learned that I shouldn't expect any real blessing from Him because I had proven a thousand times over that I'd screw it all up in the end. So I quit asking. I was taught that God would do nothing but put me through test after test in life. Everything was a test. He was constantly testing me to see if I was trustworthy. It was exhausting and irritating because it seemed I never knew I was being tested until I had already failed.
Here's the problem: our view of trust has to do with acts, external proof, and being worthy. We focus on the things we want from God and if we get them, we trust Him. If we don't, we won't. And we believe He acts this way too.
We see trust from an outward perspective. We think it pertains to things and topics and instances. God sees trust as it pertains to the heart. What does the heart look like when it is trusting? What is its position and attitude? If we can define that, we will have discovered the true meaning of trust. The unfortunate thing about the way we measure trust is that it can be counterfeited. We can act like we trust someone when the real posture of our hearts is positioned to the contrary.
What the world fails to see is that trust is not about whether you get what you want or are allowed to do this or that. There is a difference between God's trust and His wisdom. God's trust cannot be summed up by the things He does or doesn't give us.
It's important to God that we know He trusts, even when we aren't trustworthy, His heart doors are still wide open to us. It's essential that we trust He will apply His wisdom to our lives at any cost and never close His heart to us. This is possible only if we understand the difference between the manifestations of trust on the inside and our preconceived expectations of trust on the outside.
"extracts from Misunderstood God by Darin Hufford"
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Talking about trusting God.. It has been over a month since I moved to Dubai. Everything has been difficult and amazing at the same time. Training is intense and hard. I never ever paid attention in class all my life. lols. I go to school and stare into blank spaces and just get through life like that for all my education years. On top of that, I am always grasping only the big picture or the main point. Over here in training college, I have to be super attentive and remember details like how many equipments are at which location, blah blah blah. Oh. My. Gawd. it drains the crap out of me. Anyhow, just a few more weeks of training and I am going to start flying. Not sure how to feel about it! Talk about Trusting God!
Somehow, this phrase is so clique and commonly used in the "christian circle". Honestly, I don't really know what we actually mean when we say "just trust God". I don't know what exactly counts as trusting God but maybe my journey to moved to Dubai, my interview process and being here has taught me what I think trusting God meant.
He is with me in every step - even the smallest thing like making the food I want to eat suddenly available to me. Trusting Him not in what he can do for me but in his character and in his love for me.
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