Lessons Learned in 2014

I remember ending 2013 telling myself to never missed another opportunity ever again. I told myself to do whatever I set my mind and heart to do and I guessed I pretty much achieved my 2013 goal. With that being said, 2014 was struggling because I was constantly throwing myself out of comfort zone.

Lesson 1: My greatest fear
I learned that not knowing is probably my greatest fear. The more I learn the more I do not know. Being at the age and time where informations are available easily, I find myself being spoilt for choices. I find it hard to decide on something (anything for the matter - career, relationships, etc), not knowing if giving up on one path and choosing another was going to bring me anywhere. In 2013, I made major decisions. No, it should be life changing decisions. Till date, I am convinced that I couldn't have choose my choices better but giving up on a path that I was set on for several years brought many nights with pillows soaked in tears. For once in my life I was not crying not because of anyone but about myself. About my fears, my decisions and about not knowing...

Lesson 2: On leaving & distance.
I never really thought about leaving before. The day that I received the golden call from Emirates changes that. I watched for 30days prior to my leaving how friends and family reacted to my departure. Some cried, some were excited, some withdrawn but most were just worried. Seeing how I affected them made me feel so lousy about myself. I wondered if I was too selfish. But yet at the same time I am touched beyond words to see that I am indeed well loved by many. I saw how they choose to love me despite how they felt. 6 months has passed since I left Singapore and I have concluded that distance is not a bad thing after all. Distance taught me to appreciate what I took for granted. Distance gave me space to think to learn and to grow. Distance showed me my true friends and who truly mattered to me. No matter which part of the world I am in and how far I am away from my family and friends physically, they will always remain in my heart - close to me.


Lesson 3: I am who I am
One of my objective coming to Dubai was to be with myself, know myself and love myself.  After trying for several months to know myself I questioned why I actually try so hard to define myself anyws? Why am I constantly labeling myself and others as either extrovert or introvert, either a good person or a wild party person, either selfish or selfless? Why do we have to be that way? Maybe I am selfish today doesn’t mean I am a selfish person. Why do I try so hard to define and put traits on myself then struggle with my whole identity when one conflicts the other? The truth is I am just who I am. And everyone is just the way they are too. 

So, I closed the last page of 2014 17 days late.

Come 2015, my resolution is found in my fav author's quote.

"I want to taste and glory in each day, and never be afraid to experience pain, and never shut myself up in a numb core of non feeling, or stop questioning and criticizing life and take the easy way out. To learn and think; to think and live; to live and learn: this always, with new insight, new understanding, and new love." 

- Sylvia Plath.